Some Like It Hot

Wednesdays come and go, but, springing up the steps of Fleshmarket Close, hot foot from the Aberdeen train, harboring visions of Fetuccini washed down with copious amounts of fine Pinot Grigio, my day was plunged into disarray by the sight of a gaggle of youngsters of forbidding aspect loitering with malign intent in the doorway [...]

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Le Rosbif

Billeted in le Mercure hotel in Paris la Defence, I arrived late and hungry on Sunday evening, bitterly regretting not taking the Eurostar after suffering a journey of hallucinatory severity – the dark forces of Easy Jet, French immigration and apocolyptic weather combining to change my normally gentle disposition to something altogether darker and more [...]

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Perry Goes to Disneyland

As assignments go. this one was about as welcome as a warm beer, god only knows why the editor decided to send me to write about Disney’s Magic Kingdom – a petty act of revenge perhaps for the mysterious disappearance of the magnum of Bollinger from his office – he should know I can’t abide [...]

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House Red, Chateau Vincent, Nottingham

HOUSE RED, Chateau Vincent, Nottingham
From the tasting notes of my colleague Mrs Bunty Bacchant:
They say that God made wine to gladden the hearts of men, so I can only assume the Devil Himself was responsible for the hellish brew I was served at this establishment. Being red, and overpriced, it was obviously a Burgundy: until [...]

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House Merlot, Trattoria Venetia, Edinburgh

An absolutely shocking example of the malodorous slop currently masquerading as Merlot in a certain type of establishment. Top notes redolent of the River Tees and a nose that delivers a weighty argument in favor of capital punishment. A heavy and tannic concoction, this filthy brew leaves an unpleasant aftertaste and a patina on the [...]

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